My Roots And Lifelong Passion For Growth
“I am neither especially clever nor especially gifted. I am only very, very curious.” ~ Albert Einstein
As my mom was a professor of Russian literature, I was raised in a house with a big library of books on metaphysics, esoterics, philosophy, psychology, and world classic literature that made a significant impact on my early development and my vision of the world. Eventually, I decided to dedicate the rest of my life to spreading the truth that was revealed to me through my spiritual journey and years of experience helping others find happiness, peace, and love.
I Went To The Woods To Learn Living And Loving Deliberately
A few years ago, after a series of several devastating betrayals and disappointments, I, for the first time in my life, realized that all my misery was a result of my own choices due to my beliefs and level of my consciousness. I thought I’d found my perfect match, but to keep this person in my life, I paid a price that destroyed me.
“I’ve learned that in order to be happy, you first have to have been extremely depressed. Until you have learned to suffer, happiness will never endure. The love that lasts just three years is the love that has neither scaled mountains nor lingered in the depths of despair, but the kind of love that is handed to you on a plate. Love only lasts if everyone involved knows what it costs, and it’s best to pay in advance, or else you might find yourself having to settle the bill later on. We weren’t prepared for happiness, because we weren’t yet used to misery. We had grown up in the religion of comfort. You first have to know who you are and who you love. You have to be a finished person to live an unfinished story.” ― Frédéric Beigbeder, “L’amour Dure Trois Ans / Love Lasts 3 Years”
Three years of love addiction ended in deep depression. Facing naked reality and peeling off all my illusions tore me apart. I didn’t fit into my own life any longer and lost hope. This is when I went to the woods. Only in isolation was I able to obtain mental clarity. I was hiking 200-300 miles a month, alone, for almost a year. In addition, I was doing deep inner self-work, healing, learning and rebuilding myself from within—a process that lasted for months.
“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.” ~ Henry David Thoreau
For years I used as my business signature and slogan, a quote by Henry David Thoreau, “Live Deliberately,” that later became a part of my logo for my matchmaking business, “Pursue Love Deliberately.” Never did I know that one day I would experience life exactly the way I was reading about in his books 20 years ago.
Life Lesson That Changed The Direction Of My Business
The doors to “Shambala” opened for me. For the first time, I truly comprehended what “Loving Deliberately” really meant. My life changed from that point on. Drama, conflicts, and frustration over time got replaced with peace, balance, gratitude, compassion, happiness, joy, and love. My healed relationship with myself changed my relationship with others. I started a new journey. I rediscovered myself. I fell in love again, but this time with myself.
“This is a practice. You don’t go to the gym once and consider yourself done. Same here. Meditation is a practice. Working out is a practice. Loving yourself, perhaps the most important of all is a practice.” ~ Kamal Ravikant
The biggest lesson I have learned that changed the direction of my personal life and my business was that self-love doesn’t mean cherishing yourself with bubbles and spas; it means never trading your self-respect and dignity in exchange for the love, affection, or approval of someone else.
Loving deliberately means loving consciously. No love is possible without respect. Love without self-respect is a dependency and makes it so you don’t have respect for the other. That’s why there is never a choice between love and self-respect. Self-love is impossible without self-respect; similarly, love for another is impossible without respect for the other.
Turning The Wounds Of The Past Into The Purpose Of The Future
You go wrong → You breakdown → You heal → You grow → You help others
Besides my professional experience working with thousands of couples as a matchmaker and a dating coach, my personal experience has been my best teacher. My transformation made it impossible to run my matchmaking business in the old ways. As my consciousness expanded, more effective tools became available to me to help others.
All my mistakes, disappointments, and failures, coupled with deep personal work and spiritual growth, helped to develop my intuition muscle. This growth helped expand my consciousness and taught me to see people and situations in a new light. This has tremendously increased my capacity to help them be more successful and fulfilled in love.
Sometimes I work with clients who aren’t open to my feedback and are only trying to fulfill an ego-driven list of desires. In these cases, I can predict in advance that the introduction most often will result in an unhealthy relationship. Just making an introduction is unfulfilling. What drives me is helping to create a lasting, fulfilling connection.
Self-Actualization, The Main Key To Happiness
I don’t believe in settling for a life with untapped inner potential and playing small and safe. In order to discover yourself, one always has to take risks and exert effort.
True happiness can be found only in self-actualization. It is not just about making money, reaching success, and achieving personal goals. It is about doing what you truly want but in such a way that it changes the world around you for the betterment of others.
Pleasure is all about receiving and happiness can only exist in giving. It is about making a difference in other people’s lives and helping them to become better and happier. An ability to live this way recharges everyone around with energy. It is contagious.
I have always believed that the only way to do great work is to love what you do. I run my business through my heart. I would do what I do, even if I never had to work again.
In the end, it isn’t about changing the world, but rather, how many worlds you have changed.
Loving Deliberately, Sophia